December 13, 2012

Slava P is the blog game, Aleksandr Petrovsky

See Ab-Soul rap over a flipped” Last of a Dying Breed” beat and use polysyllabic words to say nothing at all. See Ab-Soul use elementary lyrical-miracles to maintain his rank as the second-least charismatic rapper on TDE with “Only 1.” See Ab’s Soul. I’m not saying that Ab doesn’t speak about real topics, I’m just saying that mentioning your chakra or third eye in every song doesn’t give you license to act like you’re smarter than your listeners.

I present to you, a TDE allegory. Let’s look at rap in 2012 as a sort of “city”, and then let’s imagine that each Top Dawg is a character in said city, trying to make it by the skin of their teeth. Then let’s imagine that this city is New York and the TDE members are thirty-something women that are obsessed with shopping. What’s this? It looks like we’re left with something that looks strangely similar to a comparison between the Sex and The City & TDE characters! (Bear with me guys, it’s the end of the year and the complete Sex…City series has been quietly playing in the background of my apartment courtesy of my girlfriend for the last, like, 3 weeks)

Kendrick Lamar is obviously Carrie Bradshaw for reasons I shouldn’t have to, and won’t, expand on; Schoolboy Q is the lovable street act who would never turn down a “feature”, if you know what I mean (Samantha Jones); Jay Rock is the even keeled and often unlucky Miranda – fitting since Rock is more or less the red headed stepchild of TDE. This leaves the plutocratic and bubbling character of Charlotte York for Ab-Soul, a pairing that works surprisingly well when you consider that Ab is the only Top Dawg not to come out of the projects and the fact that his hair is always expertly coiffed.

For better or worse, Ab-York’s career will continue. He will continue to draw interest from the younger artists that are looking to attach themselves to an accessible, but still “conscious,” rapper (see: Joey Badass) and he will reach new fans with experimental couplings (see: JMSN). But like Charlotte York, Ab-Soul’s future is destined to be filled with slight regret and envy towards his peers. Charlotte never had her own Mr. Big, and she ended up being the only one in the group who became the stereotypical Stepford Wife. Similarly, Ab-Soul will always be in search of Kendrick’s “big” first week, and he’s most likely to fall into the trap of becoming a stereotypical “smart” rapper with nothing to say, who is most likely to end up with a Jewish divorce attorney.

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