YEEZUS

Deen once ghost-wrote for Consequence.

So everyone’s favorite melodramatic rapper came back over the weekend and he’s mad and militant and here to scare corporations, rich (read: white) people and Illuminati theorists alike. Simultaneously, he’s providing “deep” commentary on materialism, consumerism and capitalism with a light gloss of metal and GOOD Summer retreads. And if Kim Kardashian’s Instagram feed is anything to go by, he’s also here to partner with Nike to sell you peasants ugly and overpriced new colorways of the Air Yeezy. Kanye West ladies and gentlemen.

I hate that I seemingly tipped my hand a bit early in this piece because I actually happen to fuck with what I’m hearing, even if I’m not necessarily sure that I think Mr. West is the appropriate vessel for the sentiments he’s expressing. It’s not that rich black folks don’t have the right to mad about shit, it’s just that I’m not really here for rants about shit when the ranter would be the first to admit that he’s probably part of the problem. I mean, the nigga is calling niggas “New Slaves” for their addictions to material things while being kitted up in enough anonymous looking designer gear to put a nice dent in my Sallie Mae debt. Shit sounds a lil’ rich to this new slave.

There’s also the question of why he’s so mad at this particular point in time. This shit would make a lot more sense circa 808s and Heartbreaks. Then again, I could just be reveal a little too much about myself. I happen to consider anger the only pure and appropriate reaction to a myriad of situations in life – death and breakups included. Back then, Kanye chose to quit rapping (even though the one song he rapped on was excellent) and auto-tune wailed his way through a bunch of shitty minimalist beats that were only partially salvaged by Kid Cudi’s (and the other guests) presence.

Now Kanye is probably richer than he was back then – greater success, more critical acclaim, poppin label and total pop culture saturation. Ostensibly happier too, given that he found himself a rich white woman (if you ain’t black, you white – I don’t make the rules, I just enforce em) and knocked her up. The American dream, right?

Wrong!

This nigga just mad as fuck for no reason. He can’t possibly be mad at the paparazzi niggas. They’re just doing their job and besides, when you date the kind of person he nutted in you ought to expect that shit. Doesn’t make it right, but that’s what it is. You can be a ho about that shit and frown and walk in to poles, but they’ll keep taking those pictures. And speaking of pictures, someday he’ll have to explain why he always looks so sad, defeated and mad in pictures with his baby mama, while he’s ecstatic in pictures with Jay-Z. Shit ain’t adding up. But yeah, he really shouldn’t be this mad at this point in time. Barack spoke at Morehouse the other day mane. It’s a half decent time to be a black man in America (unless Sallie Mae has her foot on your neck), so I just don’t get it. All this angst couldn’t possibly be because he misses Kid Cudi, right? That nigga’s music is just aggressively slightly above average lately, so what gives? Tell us why you’re so mad Kanye? Tell us the truth. I know you stay reading the blogs, with ya bitch ass. Tweet some cryptic shit to shut the cynics up for a bit.

But yeah, I actually kinda like these two new songs if I’m keeping it all the way one hunnid. Especially “Black Skinhead” – despite that silly fucking title, but I’m not here for title deconstructions. I hate that rappers often get credit for “advancing” the genre when they do shit besides rap or dip into other genres, but given that rap has always been derivative in nature I’ve learned to deal with it. Metal seems like fertile ground for sample plundering, especially if it’ll move us just a tiny bit away from all the EDM (and dubstep in particular) bullshit. The internet seems to have concluded that the sample on this shit is from Marilyn Manson, so we’ll just go with that for now. And I quite enjoy the anger, megalomanical and historical inaccuracies combined with guttural yelping that he’s passing off as rebellion – despite the one lyrical clunker he’s always good for (I’ll let you find the line yourselves).

I like “New Slaves”a lot less — mostly because it kinda sounds like a slower, skeletal and angrier version of “Clique.” And I like that song too (even with Medium Sean), but I always expect more from Mr. West. This feels like a bit of a retread. But I still fux wit it because of how juvenile and fake subversive it is. I guess one of the rich assholes with a platform is tired of hanging out with other rich assholes that don’t look like him. Well, dump your baby mama too and we’ll welcome you back with arms wide open nigga. Kanye’s a 35 year old man rapping about leaders, followers, dicks and swallowers. LOL. I hope that nigga never grows up.

So I guess it’s Yeezy (and J.Cole? LOOOOOOOL) season again. I’m glad he’s back, but that sentiment is a little tempered by the absence of some shit the bitches can twerk to. I know Kanye probably thinks that he’s better than all these other rappers, but he really isn’t. Why? Because I said so. I want singles that I can throw singles to. This is the twerk era – you’ll all act accordingly. A Juicy J feature might do the trick. But I ain’t trippin. Yet. June 18th is a long way away. There’s still plenty time for Yeezus to surprise the heauxs…