yg-drakeDeen will never refer to the CPT as Bompton. 

Let me let you in on a little secret; the main reason I write about anything related to Drake on this website isn’t because of his status in the game or any sustained interest in his music. Nope. The most amusing thing about writing about Drake to me is the fact that doing it irritates the hell outta some of my colleagues here. I mean, I get it, but it’s still hilarious and I rarely pass up a chance to troll anyone.

A little while ago, Drake dropped a bunch of lines that were probably directed at Kendrick – even though he’d never admit it – in which he bragged about doing a better job of selling concert tickets in Kendrick’s home base of LA than Kendrick does. I suppose that’s what passes for “I’ve got money stacks taller than you” in 2013. There was a little flurry of excitement about the alleged diss lines and some folks insisted that Drake “went in” on whoever he was yelping at. I found that interesting because Drake’s verse on that ‘SH!T’ remix struck me as one of the lamer things he’s attempted in a minute. Yup, even lamer than him continuously aping the now patented Migos flow.

The first thing about music is that the shit needs to sound good. Or more specifically, I won’t give a shit about your diss lines, no matter how brutal or hilarious they are, unless your voice/flow actually sounds great over the beat or track. I’mma just be there sitting with the blank face waiting for you to stop talking or for me to find the skip button; whichever happens first. So even though Drake may or may not have gotten some heat off on that remix, he automatically failed by sounding like a little bitch over that Mike Will Made It beat. Things get even more dire when you wait around and hear Juicy J absolutely decimate that shit right after Drake, even though he’s doing his usual pervy and violent Uncle schtick. Sometimes, it’s all in the timbre of your voice and some shit just doesn’t fit. As a matter of fact, it’s a minor miracle that Jay-Z ever got as big as he did, given his bitch ass voice. I think even he would admit that he doesn’t have the best voice out but he more than makes up for it in every other category. We’ll table that topic for some other day.

On the other hand, Drake’s natural bitchmade acoustics sound excellent on YG’s new single, “Who Do You Love” and that’s probably because it’s damn near impossible to sound like a bitch over tinkly pianos and synths. In this instance, I don’t even care what the Beige Colored Lord is talking about, he just sounds more in his element and his contribution to what’s sure to be a hit single is perfect without showing up the main artist. And that’s by default.

So I guess I’m asking our Beige Overlord to quit the tough talk over tough beats and stick to this kinda shit. It’s more becoming of his royalty and political maneuvering. What was that last bit, you ask? Well, if you don’t think Drake hoping on a YG/DJ Mustard single isn’t some sort of attempt to consolidate his standing in LA/on the West Coast in preparation for any further muck raking by Kendrick, then you’re a very naive muthafucka. If you think about it, part of the reason why Drake seemed so hurt by Kendrick’s actions is the fact that he’s made a conscious effort to neuter any potential competition by collaborating with folks in the infancy of their ascent to rap royalty. After all, if Drake gives you a boost on your way to stardom in this super-friends era of rap, then it would behoove you to shelve your ambitions towards his throne and just be happy to remain a court jester of sorts. Smart on Drake’s part. That man is running for President of the World and I can’t be mad at him. Worst case scenario at this point is Will Smith and that’s not bad at all.

If anything, I’m a little irritated at the fact that Kendrick and TDE seem to have made a conscious effort of isolating themselves from other LA/West Coast cliques. Maybe they think they’re above all that ratchet sounding shit that’s coming outta the West right now, but from this vantage point, that shit is quality and original – just like TDE is – and it wouldn’t hurt to say hi to your neighbors every so often. I don’t think anyone would hold it against TDE if they collaborated with folks like DJ Mustard and IamSu on a more regular basis. ScHoolboy Q could certainly use a boost in the singles department. He’s given us some good songs over the last year and none of them got us a release date. Now he’s just gonna throw that shit out in February and hope. I bet Q over a DJ Mustard or League of Starz beat would get folks a little more excited about ‘Oxymoron’, but what do I know? I just be bloggering.

But niggas always gotta compete – I guess (remember, I’m making a ton of assumptions and logical leaps here, so whatever). That said, no one is turning a Drake verse down because they’re cool with TDE. However, they’d probably think about it twice or at least guarantee neutrality in case a real battle ever pops off between Kendrick and Drake. As things stand now, Drake will probably align himself with all the party music niggas in LA and leave Kendrick and co on their oasis. That’s a chess move mane! Not that either one of them is going to “lose” in the Canibusian sense of the word, but I still find all this stuff fascinating and if you’ve read up to this point, I’m assuming you do too.

So what was the point of all this? Fuck if I know. I suppose listening to Drake loosies back-to-back will get you pondering about this WWE-Rap shit. Ain’t my fault that the white man wants me here at the office when I have the square root of fuck all to do. Oh and trolling…