Israel Daramola has dirt on you, doggie. He’s gonna get at you in a minute.

[Ed.- The country seems to be disintegrating at a remarkable pace. Every day brings a fresh deluge of horror. In Alternative Facts, Israel Daramola pauses for a second to look back and take stock of the previous week to ten days. There’s danger in retreating into a shell and letting it wash over you; it’s important to catalogue each new, impossible wrong.]

Everyone remembers Cam’ron’s policy on “no snitching” because of an infamous 60 Minutes interview where he told Anderson Cooper that he didn’t believe in snitching under any circumstances. Saying that if a terrorist or criminal moved next door to him, he’d “just move” rather than snitch. This has become part of Cam’s history and lore but what often gets misremembered is that Cam is also a loudmouth who once rapped about catching bodies for Ma$e and more or less called out Jay’s Roc-A-Fella cronies for shooting him. These are all examples of snitching. I do not bring them up to besmirch Cam, but rather to make a simple point: None of these actions tarnished Cam’s legacy because deep down all of these rappers know that sometimes snitching can be appropriate.

Last week was all about James Comey and what he would say in open session during his Senate hearing in which he alleged that the president had besmirched both his and the FBI’s names. While Comey would never go as far as to say he was fired because he wouldn’t back off the Russia investigation into Bad Tan Stalin, he would say that the president was abusing his power and using it against that which holds him in check. A lot has been made about what the hearing represents: it’s not exactly like anything we didn’t know or assume was brought up in the hearing and Trump is still president but I think this misses a larger point.

As hard as the current reality is to stomach, this period in time will affect generations to come for both positive and negative reasons. This may not be normal but if the spineless behavior of our politicians is any notification, it may someday be very soon. Between getting out of the Paris agreement and this senate hearing and Russia investigation, our actions or lack thereof will inform our future. Whether you want to fight or not, there eventually may not be a choice. Comey’s testimony is important and necessary even if it doesn’t fill our ADD, Netflix-fueled need for extreme drama at every moment. Our future is being written.

In Other News:

We have coal mining jobs again, can’t wait to get black lung and ruin our environment at a faster rate. Thank God we don’t have that pesky Paris treaty to get in our way anymore.

The dickhead dictator is now being sued by Maryland and D.C. for violating the constitution. Yup, that is a thing that can happen. We’re doing great, guys.

The Golden State Warriors are going to win an NBA championship and a bunch of idiots are going to pretend that this is a black mark on LeBron James for not being able to defeat the most imbalanced team in the NBA. A 73 win team adds Kevin Durant and we’re supposed to pretend that’s not a big deal. Let me take this moment to say I fucking hate everything GSW stands for as a team. I don’t give a shit about Kevin Durant dipping on his old team to lay back and not have to worry about being a leader on a championship team. I don’t care about fake tough guy Draymond Green and the trust fund twins Klay Thompson and Steph Curry, or Steph Curry’s Christianity being used as a shield from all criticism.  

Also I have no problem with Oakland, it seems like a lovely city. But GSW is almost certainly the tech class’ basketball team and it embodies the worst aspect of the techie revolution. A bunch of entitled dickheads who found a way to take all the resources and wins for themselves to create a new ruling class that will dominate and suck the joy out of everything you hold dear. I’ve been making jokes about this on Twitter by referring to the “you can’t fight city hall” song from the “Zanzibar” episode of Rocko’s Modern Life. A song about how it’s pointless to fight against corporate America because they’ve already won before we even took notice. You can’t fight the techies, you can’t fight capitalism and you can’t fight the Golden State Warriors and soon when they move the team right into the heart of Silicon Valley, they won’t even be accessible to the community that loved them first. Sports is dumb.

Song of The Week:

This song is Alphaville’s “Forever Young” for goons.

And that’s it. The negativity is so strong everywhere that being positive almost feels like the most punk rock thing you can do. Everything is gonna be fine.