Scott Towler has returned once again, this time with an official name for his column: “Great Scott” selected in honor of an expression popularized by a slightly eccentric Hill Valley scientist named Dr. Emmett Lathrop Brown. It’s also called Great Scott because Scott is descended from Ivan the Great (as well as Ivan the Terrible)

It all started with a memo that we received here at Scrubs last week encouraging all shows to “Go Green.” They listed a variety of ways that we could make changes to better the environment, and even had us appoint a “Green Team Captain” in our production office. His or her job would then be to report back to ABC on the progress we were making as a show.

They were simple things at first: encouraging car pooling, recycling plastic, aluminum, glass and paper products, and finding and kidnapping Ed Begley Jr. and making him do all the work for us. But did it stop there? Of course not. So I got my hands on the “Green Team” handbook which raised some questions. Most importantly: why hadn’t this been electronically distributed to everyone on staff? Not just here at Scrubs, but everywhere, from ABC to NBC, even to the succubus known as CBS. Why wasn’t this ‘handbook’ published independently and then handed out to anyone that works in the business? Did other studios and lots have their own policies. And if they did, does smoking weed count as being green-friendly?

Needless to say, I had lofty goals. Since ABC was spearheading the “going green” contest, I assumed they’d be more than willing to meet and talk about it. Naturally, that would allow us to discuss, in depth, just what they were trying to achieve. So I called ABC. Twice. I emailed their point person, who shall remain nameless, and didn’t hear back. So I emailed him again and got a two line response: “Let’s do this with Jane Doe, our PR person. Kudos!” Great. Thanks for those kudos’. I emailed back requesting the PR person’s name and still never heard back, so I took it one step further and emailed ABC’s green team directly. even emailing them the list of questions I had, in hopes that they would read them. I am sad to say that as of 12:00 o’clock noon on Friday, August 17, 2007 I’ve yet to hear a word. I suppose that’s what I get for writing it in Aramaic.

Converting to Rastafarianism? Tacitly Encouraged at ABC Studios

So this is the dichotomy: a company that cares enough about the environment to create Green ‘legislature,’ but doesn’t care enough to speak with someone who wants to actively spread the word about what they’re doing. Because of that, I’m not really sure that ABC gets the picture . Moreover, if they do, they certainly aren’t practicing what they preach. And I know it’s a bad move to bite the hand that feeds you, but this is an important issue. One that should be taken even more seriously by the huge economic and pop-culture influences in the world today and not just Leonard “Really I’m Deep, I Swear” DiCaprio.

Instead, I sit here considering how of all the industries in Los Angeles, Entertainment (at large) creates the 2nd most amount of pollution in the city. Think about that. All the cars, all the dirty streets and problems…the entertainment industry helps make it happen. And not just because of Rush Hour 3. So ABC, after resuming to respond to me I can only assume that you’re more talk than Larry King and Tom Leykis locked in room with nothing but credit cards, mirrors and mountains of cocaine. At a time when ABC should be acting on their words, they’re just playing the Hollywood game and only caring about appearance. Which is strange because it never seemed to matter all those years when they showed According to Jim.

MP3: Lord Quasimoto-“Greenery”
MP3: Goodie Mobb-“Greeny Green”

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