February 10, 2009

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When not shouting, “BROWNSVILLE, HOME OF THE BRAVE,” at high decibel levels, Aaron Matthews writes about hip hop, movies, and videogames at Canned Thinking. He also contributes to Metal Lungies, and Hip Hop Is Read.

There are two things you need to know about M.O.P.

1.  M.O.P. are always angry.
2. During their brief tenure on Roc-A-Fella Records, the pair recorded an album entitled Kill Nigga Die Slo Bluckka Bluckka Bloaoow Blood Sweat Tears and We Out.

Let’s take a slide through the ill side of town.

1. Lil’ Fame, “Face Off 2k1”, Warriorz:

Niggaz ain’t feelin the Fame bitch? Stop dreamin’/I’m the shit that felt good comin’ out of my pop’s semen.

Why it’s Great: There is no possible scenario where Fame can imagine someone not feeling him. Accordingly, when a prenatal Jamal Grinnage was released from his father’s semen, his pops experienced pleasure. (Matthews)

Ranking:

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2. Lil’ Fame, “1/2 & ½”, Gang Starr ft.M.O.P.

“Here comes the revolutionist/executionist/flip a triple 6 into three 9’s/cause a crucifix”

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Why It’s Great: Fame gets his Noah Webster on and invents the word, “executionist.” Couplet gets bonus points for possibly veiled Crispus Attucks reference. Very veiled. Related note: why has there not been a rapper named Crispus Attacks? (Weiss)

Ranking: 

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3. Lil’ Fame, “Calm Down”, Warriorz

“Brooklyn, you heard?/I’ll yap the gold cross off John Paul the Third”

Why it’s Great: Because Lil’ Fame has snatched the chains of three archbishops and a half-dozen aldermen. Robbing sundry Catholic dignitaries is one of his favorite hobbies. (Douglas Martin)

 Ranking:

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4. Lil’ Fame, “Who Got Gunz?” (Gang Starr ft. M.O.P. and Fat Joe)

“We’ll run you down, M-O-P’s run you down/Hunt you down, guns sings like Bilal/bloaw!!!””

Why it’s brilliant: Equating the name of neo-soul singer Bilal, to the sound effect of a gunshot from the old school Batman TV series–what took so long for this to happen? (Zilla)

Ranking: 

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5. Lil’ Fame, “Show No Mercy” (Pharaohe Monch ft.M.O.P.)

“You wanna see my 4-5 blow?/Nigga put the phone down ‘fore I dump 2 times 4”

Why it’s brilliant: Instead of nicely asking someone to be discreet while answering their cell phone in a movie theater, Fame proposes that he give the person 8 tickets to hell’s matinee. (Zilla)

Ranking:

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6. Billy Danze, “Breakin’ The Rules” First Family 4 Life

Before you test me/Know I feel that the impact from a gat when it kicks back is sexy.

Why it’s Great: Danzini’s fetishization of his firearm is Spector-esque in its creepiness. (Matthews)

Ranking:

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7. Billy Danze, “G-Building”, Warriorz

Now you wanna show love/You hear the soft music in the background it’s your brain on slugs!

Why It’s Great: Just like the anti-drug PSAs, but with more bullets. (Matthews)

Ranking: 

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8. Lil Fame-“Cold As Ice,” Warriorz

“Shit, I ain’t concerned until it’s my turn/I snatch a mic jump on the stage and show my ass like Howard Stern.”

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Why It’s Great: Fizzy Womack may have been the only person on earth who found Fartman funny. (Weiss)

Ranking:

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9.  Billy Danze, “B.I. Vs. Friendship”, Gang Starr ft.M.O.P.

I am as invaluable to my niggas as an old rusty ass .32/(Better than nothing!)

Why It’s Great: The line was influenced after an acid trip and impromptu reading of late-period Hunter S. Thompson. (Matthews)

10.  Lil’ Fame, “Home Sweet Home”, Warriorz

Brooklyn military killin’ every motherfucker in sight, get hard/w-w-w DOT I-Will-Fuck-You-Up DOT com.

Why it’s Great: Someone actually bought the site www.iwillfuckyouup.com a while back. It’s currently down, but STILL. Fame should use that G-Unit money [ed. note–all $6!] to purchase that domain; think about the children who will visit www.iwillfuckyouup.com and see nothing but a blank. (Matthews)

Ranking: 

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Download:

MP3: M.O.P.-“Breaking the Rules” 
MP3: M.O.P.-“Cold As Ice”
MP3: M.O.P.-“No Love”
MP3: M.O.P.-“Top of the Line”

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