From here on out, I will blame Juicy J for all of my bad decisions. In hindsight, I should have been doing this from the start. “Sippin on Some Syrup” got me to try lean in college and that led to me falling asleep into a slice of pizza at the Tiger Cooler. Shout out to Occidental College.

I sincerely hope that no one spoils the secret for today’s college kids that Juicy isn’t Wiz and Mac Miller’s cool older brother. He is the rap Van Wilder. How could Juicy graduate when he is re-defining dumbing out? There is no irony to my belated embrace of Juicy J’s latter (admittedly, lesser) work. I have been listening to “Juicy J Can’t” every day for the last 12. It is getting ugly and yet there is a strange comfort in solidarity with Juicy J. Saying no to drugs and money have always been things that I’ve found off-putting. Really, me and Juicy J have a lot in common. I will keep on telling myself that.

In the meantime, Jordan Houston also dropped a new song with Daniel Sewell, who is better known to the world for his Reservoir Dogs alias. It is best enjoyed with a trippy stick — Juicy’s new rival brand of Pixie stick.


MP3: Juicy J – “Been Getting Money”
MP3: Juicy J – “Juicy J Can’t”
ZIP: Juicy J – Blue Dream & Lean (NO DJ) (Left-Click)

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