July 2, 2012

Chris Daly rents the Digi-Mobile when he’s on vacation.

The real question isn’t “Did RZA actually make a kung fu movie starring himself, Lucy Liu and a pudgier than normal Russell Crowe?” The real question is “How did it take this long for the RZA to make a kung-fu movie?,” followed closely by “Why am I just now hearing about this?” [Ed. Note: The man has a kid — cut him some slack, Internet]

Roughly four to seven years in the making (depending on your sources), the man most responsible for marrying NY street beats to martial arts mentality is finally creating what could be the next “great” kung-fu movie. While RZA’s been involved in film projects before, it’s mostly been on the soundtrack side of things, peppered with a couple dozen bit parts here and there (for proof of Ruler Zig-Zag-Zig Allah’s acting chops, look no further than his “YO, BILL MURRAY” scene in Coffee and Cigarettes, which clearly stole the movie.

This time, RZA is rocking a couple of new bamboo hats, adding director and co-writer to his resume. Throw in the fact that the entire thing is being produced by Quentin Tarantino, and well, you can understand why I’ve got a nerd priapism the likes of which I haven’t suffered from since I heard erroneous rumors about that Fist of Legend remake.

To point out that The Scientist’s love for all things martial arts is beyond obvious, but it’s fair to notice that he clearly is hitting all the tropes in this red band trailer (see below). Bad-assed motherfuckers kicking ass? Check. Outrageous wire work fight scenes a la nearly every early Jet Li movie shot in Hong Kong? Yep, we’ve got those, too. Outlandish weaponry that’s clearly cooler looking than practical? But of course. Scenery straight out of Kill Bill, Vol. 1 (which itself borrows heavily from damn near every kung-fu flick of the last 40 years)? Absolutely. Stunningly hot chicks killing people in ways too cool for words? Vinegar, please, this is a RZA flick — of course it does.

We can only glean so much from the trailer itself, but if any man can put the fuck you back into Kung Fu, the Abbot is our man.

Watch:

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