March 14, 2013

Max Bell must be stone crazy.

Cube was right about life being “a marathon.” But when talking about the rap game, it might be fair to say that it is, in actuality, a “Marijuana Thon”—the long race to the finish line really won by the man (or woman) capable of smoking the highest grade of medical while consistently coming up with entertaining rhymes that don’t sound like they’ve smoked themselves retarded. Thus, after a long and fruitless day listening to rappers who couldn’t make it through a 5K, I’ve decided to dig into the catalogue of the man ranked # 3 on the Blogeratti’s list of the “Top 10 Rappers in the Game.”

“Marijuana Thon” comes from J-Love’s Egotistical Maniac—he also has more mixtapes than Curren$y and Wayne combined—which dropped back in March of 2011. Apart from the vaporizer smooth production from the illustrious Beatnuts, the track/video is notable for one reason above all others—Bronsolino.

It was recorded/released pre-Bronson blog buzz. Shit, pre-Bon Appetit…Bitch. And even though he’s relatively marginalized amongst all of the other Outdoorsmen—they have solid and undemanding weed rhymes here—Bronson rises to the top in terms of charisma (only he could hold a blunt and work on strengthening his grip at the same time), cooking (he definitely handled the catering), and well, rhyming (his bars and delivery, while repeated, are just better).

You could argue that I’m giving him credit because of where he is now and how I’ve felt about his music since Dr. Lecter, or that Bronson sees the most camera time because the video was shot by Tommy Mas (he produced Dr. Lecter). But I say nay, and argue that I’m right for reasons that may or may not follow, and that Mas knew a prime cut of Bronson beef from the get go.

While Bronson is essentially resigned to hook duties, it’s beyond evident that he was already well on his way to dropping the bars we’ve all come to know and love like our favorite grandfather. You can listen to the hook and judge for yourself, but the following lines serve as case in point that Bronson was determined to be the only MC crazy (smart) enough to make a dope song about Morey Boogie Boards: “Hands of Picasso/Getting wham in the brothel/Smoking a taco with the butter crumbled up from Morocco.”

In hindsight, it seems obvious that Bronson would end up winning the Marijuana Thon; that his star would rise far above the other Outdoorsmen (sorry Mayhem); that he would rise up from the underground and reinvent himself as “the whip gymnast” sponsoring his own line of G-Pens, making great music with Alchemist, and working on lining up his own cooking show. But, hindsight is 20/20, right?

If the Gods are crazy enough, the now perpetually waxed Bam Bam will resurrect this beat to go in once again. Hell, if they see fit, I wouldn’t mind a Bronson and Beatnuts project either—let’s tentatively title it Spinach and Pine Nut Pesto as I wait for my check as creative director/assistant producer.

Below the jump you’ll find two other “terribly rare” tracks on which an early Action makes equally solid/telling guest appearances. There are mentions of Yiddish lawyers and “swordfish with the garlic cream and the lemon basil caper dil” (“Ray Lewis”), as well as “pancakes, sunny sides, and a ham steak” (“The Night”).

So, in sum, most “motherfuckers [really aren’t] ready to run the motherfucking Marijauna Thon.”

Watch/Listen:

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