August 16, 2013


“Fresh as a synagogue.” JODY HiGHROLLER — the most influential punctuation potentate since ee cummings — reveals that his Versace perm game is superior to his Bar Mitzvah game. I imagine there aren’t too many going on in Houston, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some industrious Hebrew teen is planning a chopped and screwed Torah portion. Michael Watts has to be willing to do it right? Because the Bar Mitzvah game is ancient. Mine was particularly stodgy despite having one of the biggest house DJs alive. He wasn’t that big back in 94, but Dave Aude did slip in “YMCA” when I left the room, a strict violation of my orders to veer clear from the corny bullshit. Old habits die hard.

As Deen has already illustrated, the only logical way to respond to Kendrick’s slaughter is to be completely illogical. You are not going to out-rap him. You might out-create him, but that will take time. I’ve already explained the appeal of Riff Raff on camera (face revealed, game got real), but he is legitimately one of the most entertaining people alive. If you don’t think Franco stole everything from him, you have never owned a diamond-encrusted flyswatter or even been to East Brasilia (or the East Bahamas). “Ballin Outta Control” is appropriately absurd. Hair done in Sicility. Moving like a Swordfish. Neon flavored waterfalls. Life as a kaleidoscopic. And a coda that wishes you a beautiful family and a financially successful label. After all, Riff remains based above all, maybe both literally and figuratively. He also can rhyme well and this is one of those songs where you understand that the jokes are intentional. He’s a jester like a neon Yorick. May all of you be blessed with rocks on your wrists.

MP3: Riff Raff – “Ballin Outta Control (The Neon Response)

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