September 25, 2013

Deen in the cut, that’s a scary site.

It’s safe to say that Drake is the most social media savvy troll in music history. That’s the only logical explanation for this condensed Miami Vice episode masquerading as the music video for ‘Hold On, We’re Going Home’. LOL. What the fuck is this shit. Maybe it’s a tribute to one of the Grand Theft Autos past, given the current ubiquity of that shit at the moment.

Call me a killjoy, but I think I read something somewhere about Drake wanting this shit to be played at weddings in the future. This corny 80s action flick won’t necessarily tank that goal, but I can’t imagine that members of the fairer sex will be enamored with the imagery in this shit. In other words, ain’t a lotto bitches outchea tryna be remembering Fredo Santana and guns while they’re getting betrothed n’shit. But I could be wrong. After all, the first thing real niggas learned about women in women learning school was “the key to understanding women is accepting that you’ll never understand women (unless they lack a strong parental male figure in their lives, then they’re easy to read).

Dime store psychology and misogyny aside, I was actually diggin’ this shit for a second. The synthy ass notes of the song kinda fit that corny 80s, neon-lit, Miami Vice vibe he was going for. ASAP Rocky didn’t really get the fashion memo – or maybe he did, but since he’s a slave to his crew’s imagery, which was coincidentally co-opted by Drake during the marketing for ‘Take Care’, he chose to stick with all black. Tragic, given that Tubbs and Crockett deserved so much better. Anyway, everything kinda went to shit once niggas walked into that room filled with guns. At that point I started laughing and I didn’t stop until the thing ended. The only things missing were cameos from Sly Stallone, Arnold, Dolph Lundgren, Steven Segal and Michael Dudikoff. American Ninja was the shit!

But setting the jokes aside for a second, this is actually a pretty smart career move for Drake. Obviously he started from the bottom as an actor on Degrassi and we all know that movie/TV checks dwarf music checks – just ask Will Smith, Ice Cube, LL Coon J, Ludacris or whatever other random light skin nigga mainstream America has allowed on their theater screens. So it makes sense that Drake would try to position himself as the next in that lineage of rap traitors. And that’s fine. If he’s acting then maybe that’ll leave him with less time to bastardize rap with his silky soft sounds. So press play and enjoy Drake’s audition tape. And while you’re at it, get used to seeing that mug way more often. Young Canada is a star.

Finna go watch all the Predator movies again. Or maybe ‘Lethal Weapon‘ is on TNT. That shit is always on TNT…

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