Deen is tied up in a Columbian cocaine spot

It seems as if new rappers just come outta nowhere nowadays. More sho than before. Shit’s ridiculous in 2014. It’s not as if I haven’t written about some random shit in this shpace before but this GS9 tape might take the cake. One minute I’m chuckling at a young nigga doing some shilly, hat-tossh enhanced version of the Diddy bop in a Vine and the next minute I’m devoting actual time to writing about a mixtape I didn’t realize existed until an hour ago. Sho shit goes. There’s one reason why sadomasochistic early adopters such as moi chose to fuck with this shit at all: Bobby Shmurda’s ‘Hot Nigga’. Or maybe I’m just speaking for myself. I figured if this marble-mouthed dancing fool could make a song this infectious, then there had to be something about the rest of the tape. I figured right.

Before I get into all that, let’s talk about how long it has been since we’ve seen a rapper so willing to make such a goofy impression, despite the typically harrowing subject matter of music that sounds like this. I mean, this lil’ nigga is just dancing up a storm and rapping his ass off over one of the few productions on the project that hit the sweet spot between that trap/drill shit and East Coast rap. The dancing shit might not mean a thing to you, but I fux wit that shit heavily. Rappers have always been cool and serious sorts, but there was a lotta goofing around back in the day too. Everything about this kid is goofy to me; from his visage, to his goofy ass name, to his enthused dancing – I was sold before his hat even hit the floor in that Vine.

I’m rooting for the kid, if only to see what censored version of his name he goes with when he tries to get on Clear Channel or sell CDs at Walmart. Shmurda ain’t finna cut it, so is he going to go with ‘Bobby S’ in homage to his older doppelganger Uncle M(urda) or is he going to get all chosen people with it and try something like ‘Bobby Shmo’ or ‘Bobby Shmuck’? Time will tell. I would also like for the record to show that decrepit niggas like me have been putting ‘Sh’ and ‘Sch’ sounds before words for as long as Gucci Mane has existed in our collective consciousness. Again, these things are important because I don’t want any of smegma merchants calling me a biter. Pause, just because.

For the record, Lloyd Banks did an equally, if not more impressive job over the same Jahlil Beats production back in 2012, but between Meek Mill’s ascendance and G-Unit fatigue I don’t remember the single getting a whole lotta traction. Thankfully, Bobby Shmurda thought it was a good idea to reheat this bitch because it’s still a banger.

We should probably talk about the rest of the tape now. Simply put, this Shmoney Shmurda tape is some super derivative but fairly well done trap/drill shit outta NYC; Brooklyn to be specific. The Brooklyn origins of this shit don’t surprise me since the borough’s greatest son has long been famed for being a shark ass nigga. That said, I can’t really knock these niggas for trying. The Chicago drill movement is really just a bunch of nihilistic kids layering heavily ad-libbed verses and sing-song hooks over shit that doesn’t sound all that different from the shit ATL niggas have been rapping over for eons, which in turn sounds like the shit Memphis niggas were doing back when Juicy J might have had a chance of going to Heaven.

Point is, I wish New York niggas would do some more original sounding shit, but I’m not going to hold them to a standard I don’t hold any other regions to anymore. I’d be happy to listen to these ten songs ad-nauseum before I ever bump another Troy Ave tape because I’m a weirdo like that. I’ll settle for some good music out of the mecca; within this ten song set, there’s more than enough to qualify as good to these ears. These kids all grew up on the same shit; ship done sailed. That said, it would be nice if whoever thinks it’s a good idea to bite Chief Keef ad-libs on this tape would quit doing that shit. I’d ID whichever one of these kids is doing that shit, but fuck snitchin’. Let’s keep the NYC v. Chicago discord to wooing Carmelo and cracking jokes about how fucking sad Ewing and Starks were back in the 90s.

The quality on display here is solid enough for this listener, but what I really appreciate is the brevity and variety on display. This crew has like five niggas and they limited their tape to 10 songs and managed to include some East Coast shit, some Southern/Drill shit and some R&B shit to go with tons of nimble gang loyalty yarns, threats, gun talk and whatever the fuck else people rap about in 2014. Replay value on this shit is off the charts. So it’s safe to say that I’ll be paying attention moving forward – if only to see what Bobby Shmurda does with his life. If that nigga invents another dance or has another Vine go platinum, I’ll consider his career a resounding shuccess – kinda like this tape.

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