Alternative Facts: Embrace The Chaos

On the bright side, most of us are still alive for now.
By    November 14, 2017

ATLANTA, GA - AUGUST 10: Louis C.K. performs during the Funny Or Die Oddball Comedy & Curiosity Festival at Aaron's Amphitheatre on August 10, 2014 in Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Chris McKay/Getty Images)

If you’re reading this and work in an industry that is looking for writers, hire Israel Damarola now. Seriously. 

[Ed.- The country seems to be disintegrating at a remarkable pace. Every day brings a fresh deluge of horror. In Alternative Facts, Israel Daramola pauses for a second to look back and take stock of the previous week to ten days. There’s danger in retreating into a shell and letting it wash over you; it’s important to catalogue each new, impossible wrong.]

This past week, Democrats won prime seats in office all over the country. This was surprising to most people but especially to the Democrats themselves. Despite the fact that Democrats didn’t do much to fear monger or appeal to the White working class demographic, they still won seats in Trump’s America. Crazy right? Well… look I’m no Nate Silver and there are plenty of graphs and numbers and statistics out there that prove race, class, gender and religion play very serious roles into how Americans vote here —however, the one thing that I can say about the American electorate is that they are incredibly reactive, even if it goes against their best interests.

For example, taxes are used to pay for our schools, our infrastructure, our roads and highways yet despite this, if we could vote to get rid of them we’d absolutely do it and then later question why our roads and schools are even more terrible than usual. Americans vote based on who they don’t like more than who they do. The Bush JR administration was a reaction to Clinton’s phoniness; Obama’s biggest appeal was that he wasn’t a Bush or a Clinton and actually seemed intelligent. Trump above anything else was incredibly entertaining and feigned the same anger and disgust of Washington that the people had. And now that more people are realizing it was all bullshit, the backlash is kicking in.

There is no real lesson for the Democrats to take from this. They won because they were the opposite of Trump—who people hate—until they decide that they hate the Democrats more again. If nothing else, I hope they realize that the “appeal to the white blue collar working class that feels ignored” would’ve been a bullshit strategy. The Democrats lost 2016 for a multitude of reasons but that was not it. Elections are garbage and there’s no surefire guarantee on success so you might as well embrace the chaos. It’s our only god now anyways.

In other news:

I am fed up with Tyrese and his shit. Men constantly want you to feel sorry for them when they don’t want to exhibit basic humanity, like being kind or raising your children. Tyrese has legitimately lost his mind and somehow wants people to feel sorry for him because he has to pay child support. He also feels entitled to more custody despite reports of his violent behavior with his daughter. And he also won’t stop making videos on Instagram. Like a video in which he cries for his personal chef who has been sick lately in a mansion —things a person who can afford child support might own.

There was also a video in which he said that Will and Jada Pinkett Smith gave him $5 million to get off IG—a thing he did not do. Will and Jada denied this of course—a thing you would do if Tyrese loudly proclaimed you did something for him. My point is: it is very hard to feel sorry for someone who is a complete idiot and if you are an actual friend of this main, please God get him help.

Louis CK confirmed what many had been saying about him for years. His sick perversion of masturbating in front of women was exposed for multiple women finally ready to come forward. When all was said in done we got a middling statement acknowledging the wrong but not actually apologizing. But it doesn’t matter; our society is so ready to pat men on the back for honesty and forgive them that it was pretty clear most people were already ready to accept his “apology” before he gave it. And that’s part of the problem, the Weinstein’s and Ratner’s and Spacey’s of the world will never have to truly pay for the abuse and terror they’ve caused. Just a Hollywood time out until everyone’s ready to embrace a comeback. Who will think of the victims beyond using them for an enticing headline?

Song of the week:

Kamaiyah – Dope Bitch

Sports of the week:

Ben Simmons: a literal light skin angel. He doesn’t have much of a jumpshot yet but when you do everything else at such a maximum level, you can get away with that. Simmons is essentially a redshirt rookie; he spent his first year injured on the bench and now he’s come out and gotten better with each game. The Sixers have improved with him. Joel Embiid is every bit the monster we were promised, JJ Reddick looks rejuvenated and Dario Saric is a great third wheel. This team is a dark horse for the playoffs but in a shitty Eastern conference there’s no reason they can’t make it.

The U: they’re back! Somehow and inexplicably. They’re not the same as they were in the 80s or even the early 2000s but they’re winning and dominating and they have their own swag to them. Namely with the turnover chain, the greatest college football tradition in existence right now. For the sake of transparency, I am a graduate of FSU and I’m legally obligated to hate Miami but man is it hard this year. They’re so much fun and college football is a lot better when they’re good. Long live the turnover chain if nothing else.

And that’s it. Enjoy your week because who knows how many more we have left.

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