In which Action Bronson does bicep curls in glasses, cartwheels, shoots dice with Riff Raff, hits three pointers, slices pineapple, skewers meat, performs erotic freakdances, compares his beard to Iraqi dictator scions, and eats a cake made in the form of his own face. Shades of Tom Petty’s “Don’t Come Around Here No More.” Video […]

Illustrations by Brad Beatson. See Also: A Brief Illustrated Guide to Danny Brown Lyrics. 1. “Rockin shorts in the winter don’t fuck with splinters” (“Bird on a Wire”)

Doc Zeus hath risen. For a man who has the stoned Scumbag Steve countenance of a young Jason Mewes, Harry Fraud of the titular “La Musica De Harry Fraud,” has managed to become one of the most accomplished young producers in hip hop. In-demand and prolific, Fraud has become the breakout producer in a resurgent […]

Max Bell must be stone crazy. Cube was right about life being “a marathon.” But when talking about the rap game, it might be fair to say that it is, in actuality, a “Marijuana Thon”—the long race to the finish line really won by the man (or woman) capable of smoking the highest grade of […]

The central problem of writing on the Internet (beyond all the obvious central problems of writing on the Internet) is that you tend to seem like an insane person in public. At best, you come off as esoteric and insular jerk when you start quoting lyrics and ad-libs that no normal has never heard. Maybe […]

Just yesterday on the Twitter, I was doling out unsolicited advice about how to make a Valentine’s Day Mix. Point being: if you don’t include Akinyele on it, you’re doing it wrong. Action Bronson read my mind (because he may be the reincarnation of my grandfather) and drops this timely Valentine’s Day Remix. It’s obviously […]

The man always lands gracefully. Underneath this fat lies the body of a Greek God and I’m not even Greek. How is it possible that Action Bronson doesn’t have a show on the Food Network yet. This is criminal. Somebody buy me one of those weed pens for Chanukah. I don’t care if it’s January. […]

Mandatory for anyone who likes Saved by the Bell, Blaxploitation films, Dolph Lundgren, Sylvester Stallone, whip gymnastics, lamb with fennel, fresh suede shoes, Abalone, Cannelloni, professionalism, holidays in Arizona, foreign trucks, Polo robes, Ivan Llendl, the Knicks, saucy automobiles, scholasticism, the Maury show, cargo shorts, free range piranhas, rap music. Review coming later. Download and […]

Vote Slava P for Assistant Bailiff in the 343rd Municipal District of Lower Manhattan. If there’s anything I learned this year, it’s that Toyota would love for all of you hip urban youth out there to buy a Scion. How else do you explain them releasing both a Fool’s Gold mixtape and a music video […]

Son Raw has sea-legs. At this point, I’ve run out of ways to express surprise at just how much Alchemist is killing it in 2012. Of course, he’s always been sick, but Boom-Bap producers aren’t supposed to deliver their best work 15 years into their careers, if only because they run out of samples. I […]