Deen is not easily amused, except when he is.

Hey! It’s new 50 Cent. Wow. Say what you want about the man – and there’s a lot to say if you’re so inclined – but you can’t say that he doesn’t love music. He keeps trying and trying and trying! He clearly doesn’t have to, yet he persists. Then again, he might be addicted to the fame and adulation that comes with being a legit/hot rap superstar. You know, like he sorta used to be and how Kendrick is right now. Whatever the case is, I’m here for all this shit.

Anyway, it’s 3:00AM central and everyone knows that’s too late for transitions and cogent thoughts, so here’s me reacting to 50’s latest effort. Spoiler alert: I like this shit.

  • Oh goody! Fif made the right decision to get rid of Kidd Kidd’s verse on this shit. That verse was Silkk Da Shocker level awful.
  • I think we can all agree that this is a much better look/sound for 50 than that “rely on white niggas” shit he tried a lil while ago. That didn’t work. At all. Too bad.
  • Putting Kendrick Lamar on everything seems to be a decent idea nowadays.
  • I liked this when I first heard it, but it seems like more of a stab at radio than the clubs. Yes, there’s a difference.
  • Either way, it doesn’t sound like he’s forcing it and that’s a good thing.
  • Some folks claim that they don’t wanna hear Fif talking that gun shit anymore because he’s clearly moved on (but Rawse and everyone els… you know what? Let’s not do this), so this oughta do the trick no?
  • I know things have changed some in the industry and in rap as a whole, but this shit is shocking understated. Relativity speaking. I mean, this shit is still on some “opulence, I has it” shit, but it’s all tasteful n’shit.
  • I want female furniture too! Not some shit a woman picked out, but actual women sitting around counting money and looking pretty all over the place.
  • Fif’s clothes don’t even have all that extra material that makes him look stuck in 2003.
  • Shoes with spikes on them are just stupid. What if you need to play soccer on short notice? You gon go barefoot? Nah, b. You not African. You can’t do that shit. SMH.
  • Product placement doesn’t even bother me anymore. I almost get sad when they don’t throw some headphones or liquor in videos.
  • It’s been a minute since I’ve given Jigga credit for anything – because he hasn’t deserved it (he’s just a follower with access to everything these days), but the imagery and cinematography from his “On To The Next One” video is proven to be surprisingly influential and resilient in the last few years. The song is still pretty great too.
  • While I’m being nice to the Camel, I’ll go ahead and admit that his STILL crap verse on “Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe” has grown on me some. Pause.
  • Now back to Kendrick. He has to be the most non-rappery rapper rapping we’ve seen in a long time. Pause in advance, but the man is so damn little and ordinary looking. That early 90’s, dirty Brooklyn nigga haircut actually helps his cause a bit.
  • The cognitive dissonance between Kendrick and his day job is even more pronounced when he’s rapping that aggressive content shit like he is here. It’s weird.
  • My friend: “you just wanna pinch his cheeks and offer him some lemonade and cookies.” Lemonade and cookies though? That’s a thing? Give me 2% milk or give me death. But back to the song.
  • More from my friend: “I wonder if 50 Cent still has guns the size of Kendrick Lamar?”
  • I kept waiting for 50 Cent to do some asshole shit and toss Kendrick over the balcony or try to drown him in that really nice pool. I’m not disappointed that it didn’t happen though. Kendrick is cool.
  • Once again, spare a thought for Kidd Kidd. Fif got rid of him on the audio and ditched the classy and spare video they shot for this shit too. That’s cold. But it was the right call. Lawd that verse sucked.
  • OK, so now I’m on my 8th or 9th viewing of this shit. I think that means I like the song, because there’s no way I’d subject myself to any non-pronographic shit beyond twice. Actually, scratch that. I haven’t watched a pron video more than once on purpose since the government allowed niggas to use the internets.
  • It’ll never not be weird seeing 50 shell out for a Kendrick feature to get his name ringing again. I’d be remiss not to note that. Surreal shit.

If you made it to this point, thanks for reading this. I hope you realize that you might need help. But you should probably watch the video too. Well not if you weren’t planning to. Methinks the words work just fine without the accompanying visuals/audio, but since you’re already here you oughta just go ahead and do it.

So to put a bow on all this here are the two twin lessons you should take away from this: Kendrick Lamar really won and insomnia is a muthafucka. Have a nice week…

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