May 24, 2012

Deen loves you like a overweight adolescent adores pastry.

For a guy that’s always seemed to “get it” – “it” being how to ransack the rap industry for all its worth, Fif doesn’t seem to get it anymore. The Lost Tape is YET ANOTHER collection of great 50 Cent songs that’ll probably get largely ignored by the folks (well, by “folks” I mean bitches) that help propel an artist’s momentum. Curtis forgets that while he’s at his best when he’s making that gully shit (which I sincerely appreciate – never change Fif), it’s the shit for clubs and ladies that gets you a release date on Interscope and decent record sales — always a consideration for a star of 50’s magnitude).

Simply put: Jimmy Iovine won’t let 50 cook this summer if he doesn’t put a hit out there. A solo hit. It isn’t the quality of the music at this point. 50 just shit-talked his way off your playlists. Y’all can obsess over Diddy’s shit talking all you want (and yes, Diddy is a truly gifted shit-talker), but deep down in your hearts you know that Ferrari is the Ric Flair of this rap shit. No one is more disrespectful. Shit, even Diddy was forced to fall the fuck back when 50 picked a fight with him over Mase. 50 won too many times and rubbed our faces in it with glee, so we collectively said “fuck it” and left him to rot in the most hilarious and strange way possible.

I say hilarious and strange because 50 never really “fell off” or went away. He’s guested on a bunch of hits since his personal brand started to wane, so it’s clear that he still knows what a hit sounds like – he just doesn’t want to make one for himself. Maybe he ran outta pop hooks – who knows? But he still has some value to the tastemakers and labels – after all, he just reinvigorated 2Chainz’s ‘Riot’ with a pair of excellent mini-verses and that guy is supposed to be the next one up.

So yeah, The Lost Tape is dope (even with DJ Drama yelling occasionally), but that shit doesn’t matter. I don’t think anyone expects 50 to reach his previous heights, but it’ll take more than an intact sense of humor, coaxing out one of the best Snoop verses in years and introducing us to new/talented weed carriers for us give him the spot he deserves in this game. He’s never getting his old spot back, 2003 was a long time ago and pants fit too tight today. Shame.

Making a great mixtape comes easy to Curtis, but he’s gonna have to rediscover his knack for making POP hits. People can front on the gully shit, but not a pop hit. The closest shit to a hit on this set is 50 and Kidd Kidd going in over Mike Will Made It beat, but I don’t think masses are buying 50 Cent over shit THAT Southern (ironic, given that part of his initial appeal was his slight Southern drawl).

C’mon Fif, capture the hearts and asses of bitches nationwide. You can do it. I believe in you. As for the rest of you, go download The Lost Tape and get some gully in your life again…

Download:
ZIP: 50 Cent – The Lost Tape (Left-Click)

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