Drew Millard has eleven different custom A.C./D.C. ringtones.
[Ed. note: Each week, or every other week, or once a month, Drew Millard will break down a different A.C./D.C. because, in his words, “there is no one writing a column specifically about AC/DC songs and that’s fucked the fuck up.”
Have you considered the possibility that A.C./D.C.’s “T.N.T.” is not actually about explosions?
It’s my favorite classic rock anthem, and also yours. You wake up to it each morning, letting Angus Young’s crunchy riffs and Bon Scott’s dulcet cries of “Oy! Oy! Oy!” ease you from the arms of Morpheus and back into the realm of the physical. When you drop your phone, your AC/DC iPhone case protects it, the grinning visage of Scott lovingly screen-printed upon it, acting as your guardian angel. When he sings “T.N.T. / I’m dy-no-mite,” it is as if you, too, are dy-no-mite, and when he sings “now watch me explooooooode,” there is no need to watch, for your soul combusts alongside his own.
Have you ever listened to the lyrics to “T.N.T.” by A.C./D.C.? Like, really listened to the lyrics? Here is the song’s chorus, in case the answer is, “No, I have not really listened to the lyrics of ‘T.N.T.’ by A.C./D.C.”
Cause I’m T.N.T., I’m dy-no-mite
T.N.T., and I’ll win the fight
T.N.T., I’m a power load
T.N.T., watch me explode
SIR. EXCUSE ME. I am beginning to think that the “power load” that Mr. Scott is referring to is located in his sexual nether regions, and NOT at the base of a building slated for demolition and/or the soon-to-exist entrance of a mineshaft. Instead, he is referring to a load of cum.
There is something that neither you, nor I, nor anyone else has considered about “T.N.T.” by AC/DC, and that something is this: “T.N.T.” is not actually about weapons. It is about sex—specifically, that Bon Scott is having it.
I am sorry if I have drastically changed your relationship with the song “T.N.T.” by A.C./D.C., but it’s better if you know. Please enjoy the rest of your Friday.