Full Court Digress: Your Official 2018 Eastern Conference Preview

Full Court Digress returns with the first of a two-part preview for the NBA's 2018-2019 season.
By    October 15, 2018

Mike Dupar probably would have taken the Detroit Pistons coaching job for the right price.

Welcome to the Second Annual Full Court Digress NBA Season Preview. For those of you that don’t know already, Full Court Digress now has a weekly podcast that is available on most major podcast platforms- fuck with us.

This year we begin with the East, a conference with an upper-echelon largely comprised of teams with inferiority complexes and stars with unresolved psychological anguish (i.e Kawhi, Kyrie, and soon Jimmy Butler.) The lower rung of the conference features what may be some of the most comedically poor teams in league history (Chicago and Atlanta).

Like the United States, the large disparity between the conferences’ upper and lower class will bear a delicious fruit for us to harvest endlessly in this very column and on Twitter.

I hope you enjoy and feel free to send hate mail throughout the year to [email protected]


Boston Celtics 1 Seed


Do you remember last year when everyone was like “How will Chris ‘Narc-Ass’ Paul and James Harden coexist? There is only one ball.” Well James Harden rope-a-doped his way to an MVP and the Rockets came within 27 bricks of toppling the Warriors.]


In the lead up to this season many of the same NBA fuckboi’s have wondered something similar regarding the Celtics- the question being: Can all the players coalesce now that the young guys have had a taste of stardom? The answer is Yes. And that was a dumb question.

The Celtics have the deepest roster in the NBA (thanks to the stupidity of Billy King) and now we finally get to see just how good they can be. With a starting five of Kyrie, Jaylen Brown, Gordon Hayward, Tatum and Big Al and a back up rotation featuring Scary Terry, Marcus Smart, Marcus Morris and Semi Ojeleye, the Celtics should make the NBA Finals regardless of their seeding in the East.

If the Celtics are smart they will favor resting players over securing the number one seed in the East, but this is a Boston team and ultimately the city’s inferiority complex will prevail, as it always does.  Their desire to grab the mantel from LeBron in the East may ultimately be their undoing and if Kyrie isn’t healthy this team can still make the Finals but would ultimately suffer a fate similar to the Cavs last year.

The Celtics are the best equipped to challenge the Warriors but the enduring question for me this year will be whether I’d prefer to see the Warriors finally dethroned or to watch swaths of Massholes on the internet build themselves up only to watch their beloved Stevens get pantsed in the Finals.  Either way I’ll feel like a winner but if Kyrie can’t stay healthy I think this season may feel a lot like last year when it’s all said and done.

The Celtics feel like they’ll be at the center of everything this year. For a moment consider what will happen if the Pelicans are abysmal and Anthony Davis appears to be even remotely available in trade discussions? The Celtics would certainly feel that they have the infrastructure to re-sign Davis despite his signaling this offseason that he’s poised to be LeBron’s next Sugar Caddy™.

What will unfold is an NBA Cold War between two of the league’s most storied franchises- the Lakers and Celtics- and it will come down to whose prospects the Pelicans like more. The Lakers would give up Ingram, but would the Celtics give up Tatum? I would.

Prediction:

As The Celtics fate feels inextricably tied to the Warriors you will have to wait and read my Western Conference Preview to get the whole take but I’ll say this much- the Celtics will trade for Anthony Davis and at the very least there will be a lot more of this happening to Aaron Baynes and his top-knot this season.


Toronto Drakes – 2 Seed



At the end of last season the Drakes had a litany of decisions to make, all of which would make most franchise’s sphincters tighten. Faced with the uncertainty of their roster, their coach and their ceiling, The Drakes did what many franchises are too fearful to consider- a one year Hail Mary.

In trading DeMar DeRozan for Kawhi Leonard, the Drake acknowledged the difficult truth that their years of construction and regular season success was nothing but a flaccid hope, that like our President’s dick, could never go quite as deep as they thought it could.

If the Drakes can manage to help Kawhi develop a strong enough penchant for poutine and universal health-care they will have accomplished the unthinkable and traded Kobe Bryant’s illegitimate son for a bonafide Top 5 player. If Kawhi re-sgins then the Drakes will have solidified their relevancy for the next 5 years, but if not they can blow it all up and begin rebuilding around their young bench.- Win-Win.

While I don’t anticipate the Drakes to improve upon their regular season win total from last year I do think that they’ll be a much better team on the whole and just as fun to watch. Typically a team that turns over such an essential part of their roster and fires their coach after their best season in team history doesn’t have many ways to improve but while this is Nick Nurse’s first year as a head coach, his system and increased role last year helped usher the Drakes into the modern basketball world.

Now the Drakes will hand the reins of their franchise this season over to this guy:

To describe this clip as disturbing is an understatement as this is either the laugh of a hostage or of man who would take hostages. My money is on the latter and if I’m a Drakes fan I’m pumping the brakes on my optimism until I hear that Kawhi has sought out psychiatric help. Danny Green will low key be a guy to watch this year, not so much on the court but in interviews, as he may be our best glimpse into the mind of Kawhi.

Prediction:

The Drakes fail to reach the Eastern Conference Finals and Kawhi is uncovered to be a Russian Twitter Bot. In a landmark legal battle Kawhi wins his robot freedom from the oppressive grip of Putin and with his newfound autonomy discovers his love for agro tourism. Kawhi retires from basketball and settles an uninhabited corner of Greenland and successfully grows cattle from seeds. In the year 2035 Kawhi unveils that he has solved global warming and all of humanity celebrates.

Kawhi calls a press conference to unveil his findings but at the last moment decides that humanity is unworthy and must suffer the consequences. Kawhi absconds to Mars with Grimes, leaving humanity and Elon Musk to perish…Kawhi’s laugh haunts us until the end of days.


Milwaukee Bucks- 3 Seed


The national NBA media continues to fail to understand just how bad of a coach (and human being) Jason Kidd was/is. While many have come around to accept that Kidd was subpar, outside of Bucks Twitter I’ve yet to see analysis of Kidd’s tenure that references the fact that he really didn’t have a defensive scheme, that he didn’t understand elementary tenets of basketball strategy and that his offensive playbook featured more handoffs than Emmitt Smith’s career.

I could drone on endlessly about how destructive Kidd was to this team on and off the court but the point is that the Bucks are going to win 10 more games than last year thanks to having a merely competent coach.  While a blind rat would be an improvement on Kidd, Budenholzer has an opportunity to transplant this team immediately into contention in the East.

In fairness, the Bucks are still potentially a mess of a franchise in regard to their upper-management and they will soon have some tough decisions to make regarding contracts and team construction, but for the first time in over a decade the Bucks look like they are playing modern basketball. And when you have a bonafide Top 4 player in the league, a deep roster with chemistry and you play in the deflated East that should translate into an Eastern Conference Finals appearance.

Prediction:

Giannis wins MVP and Sterling Brown settles with the Milwaukee Police Department for enough money to partner with actor Sterling K. Brown to buy the Bucks out from under the New York Hedge Fund Fuckboi’s.

With new ownership the Bucks set a new NBA Sellout record, partially thanks to their semi-weekly “Fuck the Police Night” featuring the one and only Eazy-E Hologram. Basketball Beaver Khris Middleton makes his first All-Star team.


Miami Heat – 4 Seed


This is entirely predicated on the assumption that Jimmy Butler finds his way to South Beach. If the Heat can’t manage to pull off a trade for Jimmy Butler I still like them to make the playoffs again, but not as the 5th seed.  

As it stands now, the Heat are faced with an opportunity to acquire a Top 10 player and to be able to pull themselves out of mediocrity for the first time since LeBron’s departure. The question is whether or not the grumpy alpha Butler is worth giving up Josh Richardson.

For me the answer is no and for a few reasons, the first of which being that I think Josh Richardson can be Oladipo-lite on the offensive end and Kawhi Jr on the defensive end. If you didn’t take the time to read/watch my breakdown on Richardson’s defense last year here ya go:

https://www.passionweiss.com/2018/01/17/full-court-digress-michael-beasley-is-mvp-jason-kidd-sucks/

Richardson has displayed tremendous improvement over his first 3 years in the league and is on what may become one of best contracts in all of basketball at 4 years/ $42 Million.

Player 1:

FG % 3 Pt % PPG VORP Def. W/S

Season 1: 40.5% 18.2% 2.6 0.1 0.6

Season 2: 46.7% 38.1% 8.6 2.1 2.6

Season 3: 39.7% 28.3% 13.1 2.9 4.6

 

Player 2:

Season 1: 45.2% 46.1% 6.6 0.7 1.2

Season 2: 39.4% 33.0% 10.2 0.9 1.9

Season 3: 45.1% 37.8% 12.9 2.3 3.5

Can you tell which player is Josh Richardson and which is Jimmy Butler? I bet you can’t, because after 3 years the difference is negligible. I won’t got as far as to say that Richardson is the next Jimmy Butler waiting to happen but I will go out on a limb and say that he could be just as valuable and that the 4th year of his career will be very telling. I’d hate to be on the wrong side of Richardson’s 4th year and when one also considers how much Jimmy Butler will need to be paid next year, I think it’s a no brainer to retain Richardson.

I would hang onto J Rich at all costs but if there is a way to get Butler and keep J Rich I’m all in.

Given Butler’s recent outburst at practice the aforementioned scenario may be more likely than I originally thought. At this point Minnesota’s hand is surely forced and Jimmy’s trade value may be diminished due to the character questions other GM’s could easily point to. I think this shit is happening and I can’t wait to see Butler’s revenge tour this season.

Prediction:

Jimmy Butler and Dieng get traded to the Heat for Winslow, Hassan Whiteside and their 2019 1st Round Pick. Butler and Wade get into a locker fight rivaling the Malice at the Palace over ass-eating techniques and Erik Spoelstra gnaws off his bottom lip. Jimmy Butler wins MVP after averaging 30 pts/game. The Heat exact their revenge on Philly for last years series but lose to the Celtics in 6.

Despite the team’s success Butler decides he’d rather sign in the off-season with the Brooklyn Nets. Why? Because he’s a bastard.


Philadelphia 76ers – 5 Seed 


Dismiss me as a Bucks homer if you’d like but my projection for the 76ers has more to do with the fact that they lost two key cogs from last year’s impressive late-season run and will be forced to lean heavily on a bench comprised of either Reddick or Fultz and Wilson Chandler and Mike Muscala.

Last year with Ilysavoa, Simmons and Embiid on the court together the 76ers had an absurd 135.7 Offensive Rating.

Last Year with Belinelli, Simmons and Embiid on the court together the 76ers had an equally absurd 129.4 Offensive Rating.

While Ilysavoa and Belinelli only featured on the 76ers for a small portion of last season, their impact gave the 76ers an edge that propelled them over 50 wins. Lineups with Redick, Covington or Saric in place of Ilyasvoa or Bellinelli, while based larger sample sizes were an average of 15 points lower in Offensive Rating.

Now regardless of what you think of those numbers, the point is that we don’t know how good this team will be without those pieces and if they can sustain what they accomplished last year. Until we see another season of health and continued improvement from Embiid and Simmons I think we should pump the breaks on anointing the 76ers as the inevitable heirs of the East.

Now since Philly fans are insufferable and omnipresent on the Internet I offer you another stat.

Player 1    3-Pt % 2017-18:   30.8%

Player 2    3-Pt % 2017-18:   30.7%

Player 1 and Player 3 are nearly identical yet only one of them gets shit for not being able to shoot 3’s and only one of these players has a troubled injury history.

If you knew that Player 1 was Joel Embiid and that Player 3 was Giannis you are probably a Bucks fan.  If you ever once in your life had the audacity to proclaim Embiid as the superior player to Giannis I implore you to kiss my ass.

We can however, all enjoy the destruction of Aaron Baynes together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0zYIlbxcwc

Prediction:

The Sixers fail to make it to the second round of the Eastern Conference Playoffs and Philly fans take it in stride and offer sensible commentary across the Internet. Dario “McPoyle” Saric shoots 50 % from 3 for the season and finds himself in a love triangle with Ben Simmons and whichever Kardashian he is currently dating. McPoyle wins her heart (obviously) and in a strange act of retaliation Ben Simmons vows to only shoot 3’s and to never pass to McPoyle. The Sixers do the unthinkable and trade Simmons to the Lakers for Rajon Rondo’s Achilles and Luke Walton’s MCL and begin the Process anew- this time the assets are organs, tendons and muscles. With a stockpile of superfluous tendons and ligaments the Sixers corner the burgeoning NBA medical marketplace and construct Franken-Embiid who plays an entire 82 game season and sets every single record ever.

 


Indiana Pacers – 6 Seed


  1. So Oladipo dragged his nuts across the entire NBA last year and I owe him an apology for referring to him in last year’s preview as an “off-brand Jason Derulo.”  I’ll stand by the fact that his music is uninspired and limp, but when you stunt on the court like he did last year you’ve earned a reprieve from all slander.

    Truth be told I’m not sure how I feel about the Pacers. On one hand they signed another guy who can get his own shot in Tyreke Evans and the team’s chemistry from last year should remain intact, but on the other hand Nate McMillan’s slow system and the Pacer’s lack of depth on the wing makes me skeptical.

    The biggest question for the Pacers is whether or not they can defend. Typically I’m not huge on teams that play at a slow pace and don’t excel on the defensive end. Take a look at last year’s Pace and Defensive Rating rankings.

    Pace (Slowest) Def Rtg
    1. Sacremento
    27th
  2. San Antonio 4th
  3. Memphis 26th
  4. Miami 8th
  5. Dallas 16th
  6. Utah 1st
  7. Detroit 10th
  8. Boston 2nd
  9. Minnesota* 25th
  10. Indiana 12th

    *The Timberwolves were an anomaly of sorts thanks to their being the only one of these teams be in the Top 10 in Offensive Rating in the League- they ranked 4th in Offensive Rating.

What the chart above indicates to me is that in order to play a slow Pace and be successful in the NBA one also needs to have a Defense that can help reinforce one’s Pace. As the above illustrates, in the modern NBA you either have a Defense that can stymie teams and drag games into the mud like San Antonio, Miami, Utah and Boston did last year or you’re forsaking yourself to be abysmal or at best mediocre.

What Indiana did last year seems at odds with the greater trend of the league and while it can beneficial to zig when everyone else is zagging, Indiana doesn’t have the defensive personnel to warrant a Pacer-less Philosophy.

Prediction:

Ultimately I feel like the Pacers stagnate a bit for this very reason. Yet due to continued improvement from Oladipo, a leap by Myles Turner on the defensive end and Tyreke’s much-needed shot making, I think the Pacerlessers hit the 6th seed. All things considered this should still feel like a big win for a small market franchise that traded away their best player just one year ago.

The Pacerlessers have a competitive few games with the 76ers during the regular season and Turner even gets the best of Embiid and posterizes him for all of Twitter to see. Embiid retaliates and eats Turner’s lunch after taking his mother on a date and live streaming the whole thing… the whole thing. This is the feud of the NBA season.


Washington Bullets – 7 Seed


Nothing screams underachievement and disappointment quite like John Wall, Dwight Howard and Scott Brooks. The Bullets have much more talent than a 7 Seed but this roster looks poised to rival the Arenas-era Bullets in dysfunction.  Scott Brooks is a doormat, Morris may murder Dwight if he ever can convince him to enter the team shower and Wall and Beal are inevitably going to battle for the fate of the franchise in pay-per-view event. The loser will be traded to the Kings.

If I’m the Bullets I’m doing everything in my power to get rid of Wall. This offseason Wall has behaved like I did when a distant relative of mine that I’d never met left me $1,000 in his will when I was 16. While some things are better left unsaid, if a reporter had asked me what I’d done with the money I probably would’ve sounded like this:

Now there is a scenario in which Wall has achieved the elusive perfect alchemy of conditioning, drug abuse and bottle popping the likes of which only ODB and Lord Byron have achieved before. In that case the Bullets are going to win 55 games and John Wall is your 2018-19 NBA MVP.

Prediction:

Scott Brooks is fired and Dwight Howard makes the All Star team after developing a strangely harmonious chemistry with Wall on the court. Otto Porter quietly drops the best freak-folk album since Strawberry Jam and Austin Rivers is indicted on federal charges of racketeering and interstate trafficking after being tricked into being John Wall’s weed carrier.

The Drakes dismantle the Bullets easily in the first round and by this time next year only Otto Porter and Kelly Oubre remain on the active roster.

Dark days are upon ye Bullets.


Charlotte Hornets – 8 Seed


The Hornets are pretty uninspiring and truly should’ve dealt Kemba last year at the deadline for picks to begin their rebuild but here we are. Truth be told I want nothing more than for the Nets to beat out the middling horror stories that are the Hornets and Pistons but at the end of the day the Hornets possess enough talent and may be inspired enough to play for their new coach that I think they edge out the Pistons and Nets and grab themselves the 8 seed.

At the very least the Hornets should be a bit better than last year because they are rid of Dwight. Bridges has looked very competent in the pre-season thus far and if Borrego can find a sliver of talent in Malik Monk this team could boast a pretty potent bench of 3-point-shooters.

Prediction:

Hornets limp into the playoffs only to get swept and to watch Kemba leave in Unrestricted Free Agency. Miles Bridges makes 1st Team All Rookie…WOOHOO! And Michael Jordan ruins Monk’s psyche after baptizing Monk in a scrimmage without pants on.


Brooklyn Nets- 9th in the East


I’m high on the Nets for a few reasons- their names being Lavert, Allen and Atkinson. Much like the Heat, the Nets feel like one star player away from being a difficult out in the playoffs. Atkinson has proven himself to be a more than competent coach and I like Caris Lavert to quietly surprise the league by establishing himself as an untouchable going forward.

As much as I love Spencer Dinwiddie (I don’t believe D’angelo Russell to be a point guard) I’d really like to see Lavert given the opportunity to take the reigns at the point like he did for portions of last season. His playmaking and on-ball defense still need to improve but his knack for scoring and his off-ball awareness on the defensive lead me to believe that he can make a big jump if given the right opportunity.

As much as I’d like to see Jimmy Butler in Brooklyn for selfish reasons, it is good to hear that the Nets aren’t over eager to trade the farm for a chance at a star. Considering that that the Nets will have their 1st Round Draft Pick for the first time in what feels like an eternity, they should be content to let their young guns develop for another year or two before they make a push for a star….maybe they already have one.

Prediction:

Brooklyn surprises teams early in the season with their sound defense headed up by Jarrett Allen. The team then spends the rest of the season hoping to undo their progress in the win column. Tank commander D’angelo Russell is given the greenest of lights and proceeds to shoot 15% on 3’s over a 2-month stretch.

The tank works and the Nets miss the playoffs intentionally.


Disney Magic – 10th in the East


The Disney Magic may be sneaky fun this year largely due to their front line.  Aaron Gordon should make the All Star team and finally become a household name for something other than dunking. Despite Gordon’s inevitable leap, the key to the Magic’s success will likely boil down to whether or not Isaac can make a jump this year and whether or not Bamba can be an elite rim defender.

Much like his time with the Bucks, GM John Hammond appears to be putting a premium on length. Defensively the Magic have enough depth and length at the 3 and 4 to pose issues for most teams in the conference and with new hire Steve Clifford’s experience things may begin to gel more quickly than one may think.

Towards the end of the season the Magic will have a tough decision to make as they will be forced to choose between bottoming out for another lottery talent or making a push for the final spot in the East.

Prediction:

The Magic make the wrong choice and try their hardest to sniff a playoff seed. Elfrid Payton spends the entire season riding the pine and watering his hair like a chia-pet. DJ Augustin* begins collecting social security and checks into an assisted living facility and in an act of desperation the Magic re-sign Payton to helm the point.

Payton proves to once again a legendary tank commander and despite Clifford and the Magic’s best efforts the Magic fail to win a game after the buy-out deadline.

*How in the fuck is Augustin only 30 years old?


Detroit Pistons – 11th in the East


Why in the hell did Dwayne Casey take this job? After winning coach of the year he could’ve sat his ass out a year and waited for a real job opportunity. Instead he signed a fat ass contract to spend the next few years in basketball purgatory.

Truly no team makes me quite as frustrated and bored as the Detroit Pistons. They have nothing and nothing will change for years to come because Van Stan Blundy let Jerry West fuck him into basketball oblivion.

Prediction:

Everything is very bad until the Bruiser Brigade is signed to an exclusive half-time performance contract. The good people of Detroit gain access to what are effectively $5 Danny Brown and Company shows for the entirety of the season. BRUISER!

Seriously fuck this team and never talk to me about them.


JR Smith’s Team – 12th in the East


 

This team is JR’s now. With LeBron gone JR can bring back his A-Material. What you thought throwing soup was his best shit? Please, JR is capable of much more and looks poised to reclaim the NBA Twitter mantle this season- just watch his pre-season footage thus far:

Given what happened last year when JR Smith made a historical blunder in Game 1 of the Finals, JR has a lot of brand rebuilding to do and has made it clear that he intends to do exactly that- even if it costs everyone else on the Cavs their sanity.

Prediction:

The Cavs are downright delusional if they think that they are going to make the playoffs with this skeleton crew. The best case scenario is that Kevin Love scorches the earth for the first few months and that a contender is desperate enough to take on his salary. While I don’t expect this to happen it should be what Cavs fans are rooting for.

The Cavs will be hysterically bad on most nights but on the rare occasion when they are not- thanks to connecting on 40 3’s once a month- the Cavs are must watch TV.

JR accidentally kills Lue midseason with a prank that somehow involves bananas, roller skates and a turkey-baster. Exactly 4 minutes after the Lue’s funeral concludes JR invokes what he calls “Henny Law” and takes the reigns of the franchise as the league’s first Player-Coach in decades.


New York Knicks – 13th in the East


All the Knicks need to do to be successful this year is to give The Zinger the time he needs to fully heal and to not make any rash trades a la Carmelo Anthony. For most franchises this wouldn’t be too much to ask but for the Dolan Knicks one never knows.

For the first time in over a decade the Knicks have looked like a team not entirely focused on self-sabotage. They’ve kept themselves out of the Jimmy Butler trade discussions and have been non-committal on the Zinger’s timetable to return.

The hiring of David Fizzdale feels likes the right fit given his report with players around the league and a boisterous charm that feels perfect for New York. Given his demeanor, Fizdale will be able to handle the New York media in manner that will benefit his players and the franchise’s direction. The less Dolan feels compelled to speak the better and Fizdale may finally be the guy to shut him up.

On the court this team will suck something spectacular but if Kevin Knox can shoot a decent percentage from 3 and not be a complete sieve on defense then the Knicks can feel okay with themselves heading into free agency.

Prediction:

Joakim Noah is found dead in a Latvian brothel and Porzingis is brought in for questioning.  Dolan sells the team to David Duchovny when a mysterious cabal calling themselves the Pythagoreans claim to have evidence that would exonerate Porzingis and prove that Dolan did it but that they will only release it to the authorities if Dolan sells the team or quits making music forever.

As soon as the police hear of Dolan’s sale of the team they release footage of Noah, Phil Jackson and Porzingis at a small village bar in Latvia. Noah, Jackson and the Zinger reveal that the whole thing was a ploy to get the team out from under Dolan and that Jackson is now producing a reboot of Punk’d- this scenario being the first episode of the new season.

Noah gains an ownership stake with he Knicks and Kevin Durant, citing his love of  Duchovny’s music, signs with the Knicks on a 5 year deal.


Chicago Bulls- 14th in the East


While the Bulls have managed to amass a respectable glut of role players, they have also found a way to fill out the rest of their roster with weed carriers and tendon-less sieves.

This team may very well set records with how awful their defense is and it is going to be wonderful watching the whole thing implode from so close. Jabari Parker is a Mormon Michael Beasely with a worse work ethic and this year may be his last in the NBA if the delusional voice in his head continues to tell him that he is worth 20 million a year. Have fun in China with your 8 wives!

Prediction:

After a year riddled with team turmoil and Bobby Portis’ countless assaults on Jabari Parker, the Bulls finally part ways with Fred Hoiberg. Wendall Carter Jr and the Finnish Goose have strong years but fake injuries for the remainder of the season after giving up 160 points in three quarters to the Pelicans.


Atlanta Hawks – 15th in the East


Once again if you’ve made it to the end of this year’s Eastern Conference preview you will find yourself reading about the Atlanta Hawks. Unlike last year, this team may actually be worth a few minutes of your time thanks to Trae Young.

I’ve never claimed to be a draft guru and truthfully don’t care all that much about college hoops outside of the tournament, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t note that I think that the Hawks were pretty stupid to give up their pick in return for Young.

Young may very well become a semi-serviceable point guard in the league due to his play-making ability but I’m not sure he has the ability to defend at the NBA level and for me that is a huge issue. Only time will tell if his shooting can manifest itself in the NBA but it seems stupidly optimistic to think that his shooting will transfer from college to the NBA.

I hope I’m really wrong because the more talent in the league the better.  At the very least I know that there will be a few League Pass Alerts throughout the season due to either a streak of horrendous air-balls or a heat-check of Curry proportions- either way, at least for this year, I’m here for it.

Prediction:

Young Thug and Quavo replace Kent Bazemore and Dwayne Dedmon in the starting lineup to aid the tank. As the league’s preeminent tank commander Trae Young vacillates between looking like a young Leandro Barbosa and present Danny DeVito.

Jeremy Lin gets bought out by Houston at the deadline and again ruins Carmelo Anthony’s mojo.

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