10. Nocando will be offering battle rap lessons to the first 50 people that bring in a can of tuna fish (no dolphin) and/or vegetable soup.
9. Rah Al Milio from the Knux will be unveiling his homemade recipe for chocolate mushroom soufle.
8. Zilla Rocca will be perform electric guitar covers of Blue Oyster Cult’s “Godzilla” while scaling a mountain.
7. Between sets, I will be doing a one man show/creative reinterpretation of Sir Smoke-A- Lot’s “Sampson Gets Me Lifted.”
6. All pretzel bowls will be filled with “Forget Me Nows.”
5. Krispy from the Knux will be passing out free doughnuts shaped in the form of his silhouette.
4. The show is sponsored by Coca-Cola, meaning all the free Tab you can drink.
3. The Knux will perform Eiffel 65’s Europop in its entirety.
2. No one will use the phrase “real hip-hop,” unless they’re referring to Heather B’s catalogue.
1. The Holloys will be bringing a punchbowl filled with “homemade Cactus Cooler.”
