April 24, 2013

Deen knows what you want.

I don’t recall the exact time when Cassie lucked into that one random hit that put her on the scene, but my interest in her only really started when her nudes leaked after she traded up from Ryan Leslie to Diddy. Proof positive that a Harvard degree is the most useless thing on the planet in the face of old money and hella lip gloss. Take that, take that. Even more hilarious is my sneaking suspicion that Diddy not only took that light skin nigga’s woman, but he also kinda sorta blacklisted him industry wide. There used to be a time when I thought Ryan Leslie was going to be a star, but that shit kinda ended abruptly – despite his continued efforts. Meanwhile, Diddy is still diddying Cassie – the result of which I presume is this new project, Rock-a-Bye-Baby.

Anyone familiar with her prior work or just pop music produced by talentless, yet fine as fuck sirens in general, ought to know what to expect: shitty writing coupled with top notch (or at least, interesting) production – that’s exactly what we have here. Cassie yields to her guests and the beats mostly because she’s forced to, given her weak ass voice. The top notch guests are in tow ranging from fellow Bad Boy Cypher, French Montana, to Rapey Rawse and Pusha T, but the best peformance probably belong to Fabolous. In any case, there are enough random muthafuckas on this shit to make it worth listening to for that reason alone. It’s basically a different approach to a Rihanna project, but the question remains “who the fuck cares?” Apparently the guy writing about it. Sigh.

The refrain “I make music to numb your brain” is hilariously apt, despite my seeming enjoyment of this shit. It’s just hard to connect with Cassie on any level. At least for me. You’d have to be supremely vapid for any of this to truly resonate with you – and I’d like to meet you in a dark club sometime soon. I’d lust after her, but she’s fucking Diddy and I’ve seen her goods on the Internets, and she’s devoid of talent. Nonetheless, I don’t mind having her around. She’s a useful enough alternative to whatever the fuck else passes for R&B/Pop shit. Especially the more chilled version of it. Then again, we can still look to Toronto for better, more interesting and more personable female vocalists like Rochelle Jordan. And Drake.

Shit’s confusing. I shouldn’t like music this soulless, but it does just enough for me or maybe she’s just succeeded in numbing my brain enough for me to not care if this is any good or not. Maybe I’m just having a shitty day. I apologize for nothing. I am fabulous in this instant. Pause.

I take comfort in knowing that God will never let her win beyond her current station in life. Which ain’t bad at all – Diddy’s concubine. She did Ryan Leslie too dirty for her to win too bad with no talent. But given Diddy’s penchant for putting dope projects together while being devoid of talent (Last Train To Paris remains amazing in an overstuffed way), one could just view Cassie as his R&B avatar for the foreseeable future. At least she’s great to look at and the Rolodex is strong as fuck, so I’m here for this shit. But not the New Jack City snippets. That shit’s just ill-fitting as fuck. The formerly tax burdened voice of the ghosts of Wesley Snipes’ past shouldn’t be misused in such a frivolous context. Ever…

Download:
ZIP: Cassie – Rock-A-Bye Baby (Left-Click)

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