August 5, 2013

IMG_6774-640x426Deen would like to send this one out to Mark Morrison.

So the other day, I was minding my own damn business when a friend of mine texted me the following:

“Who the fuck is Doe B?”

“I don’t know,” I responded. “Wait. Maybe I do. But I can’t place the name.”

“Well, he’s a T.I. affiliate,” friend responds. “But don’t bother because I already stopped listening to the mixtape.”

“Oh! That nigga was on that underwhelming G.D.O.D. tape that T.I. and Grand Hustle dropped a few months ago. Dah well.”

So I moved on with my evening, which included eating plantains with chicken stew (yup, I made all that – interested ladies with clean test results can hit my DMs on Twitter) and laughing at Tony Soprano explain to Dr. Melfi that ex-cons get a pass for doing gay things in jail because “what are they gonna do?”

Fast forward to a few minutes later and Juicy J posts a link on Twitter. The tweet contained the following key words: ‘return’, ‘mac’, ‘project’, ‘pat’ and ‘Doe B’. I know ‘Doe B’ isn’t a word, but let’s stay focused here. On general principle alone, I’ll click on anything Juicy J posts, but given the exchange I had with my friend and the collection of key words in that tweet, it felt like fate or destiny or some Eastern religion shit. So I clicked the link.

I saw a picture of some chunky version of Slick Rick and my heart almost dropped. Actually, that’s unfair. I’ve seen Rick live a few times in the last 5 years and age has snatched a lotta slickness away from him. But I remembered what brought me there and I kept faith. Then I pressed play.

Holy shit. This pirate lookin-ass nigga mixed Mark Morrison’s “Return of the Mac” with Project Pat’s “Gorilla Pimp” (if you don’t know BOTH songs by heart, you ain’t real – fact) and titled it Return Of Da Mac. And guess what? It’s every bit as glorious as you’d expect it to be. As a matter of fact, at the time I started writing this shit, I had no intention of writing anything and I hadn’t even managed to comprehend what either rapper on the song is saying. But I am willing to back up the following statement with my housekeeper’s life: this song has to be one of the best 1000 songs ever made in the history of music. Not bad for a guy from Alabama, which, if you ask me, is even more of a handicap than having one eye.

This shit is so firerific. OMGLOLWTFACDCYEEZUSCHRIST! First, they screwed that ‘Return of the Mac‘ shit, then flipped that into a solid reworking of Pat’s ‘Gorilla Pimp’, then they wind that shit down with Pattuh going in over that screwed Mark Morrison shit again. If you can’t get down with this, you don’t have a soul and fuck you.

A second listen predictably reveals that they’re talking that pimp shit (and rightly so) and it’s all very competent, but the idea alone deserves all the molly points in the world. Ok, so maybe there’s nothing as memorable as Pattuh’s “I’mma tell ya mama though – Bitch that’s a no-no” exchange on this shit, but Doe B has done us a great service. We should all be grateful. Or at least happy. There’s nothing original or spectacular about the man, but he has great taste in schmaltz, production and guests. I’m both grateful and happy. For now. Till I return.

Like da Mac.

Download:
ZIP: Doe B – Baby Jesus

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