Deen votes PartyNextDoor off the island. 

When it comes to this music shit, it’s really hard to get me to unfuck with your music if I fuck with your music. As I’ve aged, I’ve gotten a lot less draconian about the standards I hold artists I like to. Simply put, I want to be entertained and I’m not going to go out of my way to dislike some shit for invalid reasons. Somewhere in the last 5 years, I think my default listening stance changed from “this shit bet not be wack” to “I hope this is good and if it isn’t on the first listen, I’ll try a few more times.” Used to be a time when I wouldn’t have bothered downloading a Migos or Mac Miller tape. Now I rush to Livemixtapes or Datpiff or wherever, if only to get the process started sooner. There’s still some shit I ignore, but I like to think I have a better sense of humor having living through the snap era and witnessing Rick Rawse’s bovine ascendance to rap royalty. It’s been hard out here for uncompromising rap nerds.

Now that I think about it, that’s kind of a dumb ass change to make. After all, the older you get, the less time you have to fanute in general. But whatever; I just try to seek small mercies outta this being an adult bullshit.

So it’s with great consternation that I feel the need to castigate a pair of singers that might actually be my favorite R&B folks to make waves in the last few years: Rochelle Jordan and PartyNextDoor. Long time observers might remember that I’ve been enamored with both of their last full length projects for a good minute (yup, ‘PartyNextDoor’ and ‘Pressure’ haven’t left the rotation since they dropped). Both of them lean a bit more on atmosphere and sonics a bit more than genuine personality, but between her obvious sultriness and his barely concealed debauchery, there’s more than enough to hold my interest long term.

I think both their projects also ranked fairly high on my Passion of the Weiss ‘Best Of’ ballots in the respective years they were released. Point being, I love these muthafuckas. So imagine how happy I was to see that they were both on the same track! A duet if you will. Some Marvin and Tammy shit for niggas that like synths and have considered doing coke but are waiting until the next time their white nigga friends offer them really good coke as opposed to doing random lines in a club with a bulletproof DJ booth.

Oops, my bad. I meant to say a really awesome duet between two young singers that are destined to be stars on the R&B scene soon. If there’s one thing y’all should know about me it’s that in addition to my gangsta rap obsession, I have a huge soft spot for male-female duets. I’ll listen to any man and woman harmonize for unnecessarily lengthy amounts of time. Usher and Alicia Key’s ‘My Boo’ might be the only male-female (sung) duet that I remember not liking and that was because a girl I was seeing at the time had an obsession with Usher bordering on a fetish. I’d say more but I feel as if I’ve told this story already.

Anyway, I was super excited for this until I pressed play. Raaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssss! I ain’t fuckin with this shit mane. I’m hurt as fuck. As a matter of fact, I want… no I DEMAND a fuckin recount or rerecording. Perhaps with them in the same studio and maybe some of that cocaine I wasn’t talking about earlier? I suppose this isn’t technically a bad song, but I’m utterly disappointed. There’s no real opportunity to judge their chemistry because they never actually engage each other on the track. Ain’t no harmonizing or backing up to be heard anywhere? Why? What’s the point of a duet if the singers don’t duet at some point? HANH? There’s a little adlib duelling near the end and that’s easily the best part of the song. For me at least.

Then there’s the empty sloganeering passing for lyrics on this shit. Listen, Jahron and Rochelle, ain’t noboby coming to y’all for motivational screeds n’shit. Y’all ain’t Jeezy. As a matter of fact, even Jeezy ain’t Jeezy no mo. Cut the shit and get sexy. I’m pretty sure I’ve read the lyrics on this shit off a bumper sticker before. Right in between “my dog is smarter than your honor roll student” and “Obummer.” Fuck that. Get dangerous.

I know some of y’all are thinking “why so harsh? It’s just a remix?” Well, I still expect my favorites to come correct [ll] or not bother. I expect a lot outta these two and I don’t want them forming bad habits early. The same applies to KLSH (the producer) but less so, given that the beat is the best part of this effort.

I suppose I’m less mad and more disappointed, but this changes nothing. In fact, I’m positive that tons of folks like this shit. I’m just not one of them. I’ll still be one of the first muthafuckas checking for anything these guys do. Maybe this is just a foreshadowing of Nick Stauskas and Andrew Wiggins disappointing their respective fanbases in a few weeks. Damn Canadians. But again, playas fuck up too and I’m a forgiving sort.

That said, I’m never listening to Lupe Fiasco, Wale or Ab-Soul. Life is most certainly too short for that bullshit.

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