Cavanaugh Takeover: 6 articles I was Going to Write:

Mike Eagle knows what clicks you got last summer.
By    December 1, 2015

List-loving

Open Mike Eagle and Serengeti are Cavanaugh. Buy their album here.

I’m pretty smart so I knew when we got invited to do this takeover that we should follow the lead of the most important website of them all: Buzzfeed

How fucking smart is that!

Though I used to write music content for a pro wrestling website, I’m out of practice now, so as I was ideating like a beast for this takeover. I went through several different ideas before I settled on the excellent choices that I made.

Here’s a few of the excellent choices that I didn’t make.

9 thoughts on thinkpieces

I think thinkpieces are dope — especially ones where white men think thoughts about racism. Those are the best. Thinkpieces are the best. i was going to write an entire fake thinkpiece in this tone. It was going to be a fucking masterpiece.

14 cool people who follow me on twitter but won’t talk to me

It’s actually an impressive list, but I figured if I put them out there it would guarantee that they would never talk to me. As I write this, I’m realizing I care far too much about them talking to me, which is probably why they don’t talk to me. Anyway, shout out to Questlove.

Guess which celebrity wanted to work with me a couple weeks ago, but won’t talk to me now? I was gonna write the whole story and take guesses on who it was but then I didn’t cause I thought it would be dumb.

7 reasons I should have a TV show. 3 reasons I don’t.

It was going to be a list of video clips of me being funny, but then I remembered I could just do that on my own damn website.

There’s fucking writers here!

Top 5 episodes of my podcast ‘Secret Skin’

Aesop Rock, Dessa, Hari Kondabolu, Daedelus, Kamau Bell. See? Done.

5 real conspiracies

I was gonna write about the secret rituals of the Rosicrucians, the Knights Templar, black American fraternities, the indie rap illuminati, and and your aunt’s rotary club. I was going to explain the link between these groups and ‘sex magick’. I was going to point out weird shit on the map of DC. But then my edible kicked in and I forgot what words are.

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