December 16, 2016

Will Hagle smokes rapper weed.

At any given moment of 2016, I considered the Song of the Year to be the popular song of the moment that made me uncontrollably flail around like George W. Bush with the Kankouran West African Dance Company. “Broccoli,” “Money Walk,” and “Digits” were all Song of the Year, at one point. “Wait A Minute” was Song of the Year one day for 12 hours. Most of these songs, aside from that half day when I put on nothing but Phresher, are not things I’d purposefully listen to on my own. I hear them out in the world, on the radio, or by chance. And yes, “No Problem” was Song of the Year at one point, too.

Don’t believe what the other lists tell you. The Song of the Year, at least right now, is “Spend It.” The other day I found myself driving a company van, on my way to the Hollywood Hills to drop off a rich folk’s beloved pets, blasting Dae Dae over the sounds of dogs barking in the backseat cages. As a newly appointed part-time doggy daycare attendant and de facto Postmates driver for pets, this is the luxurious life I now lead. When I get a small check at the end of the pay period, I spend it. And then I get it right back two weeks later. And then I spend it all again on music streaming subscriptions I thought I canceled during the trial period.

But enough about me. This is a song about all of us. Dae Dae would probably say it’s a song about making money, but the hook is just as much an ode to minimum wage workers as it is to lucky two-hit wonders. Spend a check and get it right back, just to spend it again. With income inequality unending, Amazon Go stores opening, the robot takeover plausible, and the right-wing government hijacking imminent, “Spend It” should be the new American national anthem.

Just like the old American national anthem, all of our country’s best performers have already attempted their own rendition. Lil Wayne and 2Chainz jumped on the remix earlier in 2016, and now Young Thug and Young M.A. have hopped on the next installment of the Song of the Year of the Moment. In the latest version, Jeffrey sings “My dogs with me, baby/Better call Petsmart!” When I’m riding around in the van I think he’s talking directly to me. But enough about me. This song is for US.