360 Degrees to Make the Cypher Complete: Rating The 2012 BET Cyphers

Max Bell finds the revulsion invigorating. Another year. Another BET awards. Another round of ciphers. I give you my thoughts off the top of the dome. But really though, off the top of the dome....
By    October 11, 2012

Max Bell finds the revulsion invigorating.

Another year. Another BET awards. Another round of ciphers. I give you my thoughts off the top of the dome. But really though, off the top of the dome. Seriously, I didn’t write this, look at it, think about it, and then try to make it sound better or clever. Can you imagine how terrible it would be if I did? Exactly. 

“Grand Hustle” 

Trae Tha Truth –  We get it. You’ve been rapping a long time.

Chip – Rap game Craig David.

Iggy Azalea – “We’re not that into you.” So meta.

B.o.B – Congratulations. You now carry Grand Hustle financially and lyrically.

T.I. – It’s your record label, trouble man. It’s yours.

“The True School”

Jean Grae – She came back on the fourth hit.

Sarkodie – They do it every year. Don’t you know I can’t read that fast?

Ab Soul – Giving the people what they want. Rap game Haile Selassie.

Talib Kweli – The day Frank Ocean goes to Chik-Fil-A is the day your next single makes it to the Billboard Top 40.

“The Raw”

JayBird the Purdi Boy –  His name is JayBird the Purdi Boy

Hopsin – Really, they didn’t invite you? Panorama City is scarier than your eyes.

Schoolboy Q – Yes. We know when Kendrick’s album drops. You can still spit though.

Mac Miller – It’s a like/hate thing. So right now, I like Miller and models wearing Iverson’s.

Mystikal – Rap game Redd Foxx.

“Iron Mic”

RZA – We were already going to see your movie. But bong bong.

Angel Haze –  If I choose to believe that you are ‘not real,’ then you aren’t. That’s from some school of philosophy, I think. Either way, knowledge dropped.

Joey BadA$$ –  He might get there.

Drilky Graham – Self-promo t-shirt swag. His name seems like an amalgamation of the various monikers belonging to that Drake guy.

Childish Gambino – Sometimes.

A$AP Rocky – Only the “pretty motherfucker” would diss everyone in the cipher.

“The West Coast” 

Xzibit – Hennessy needs to pay this man already.

YG – Bars for the ratchets.

Kurupt –  That chair can’t hold him.

E-40 – Apparently he has been a White House consultant since 2009.

DJ Quik – It’s fair to say he’s the best rapper/producer of all time from the left coast.

Kendrick Lamar – So we all agree that October 22 could very well become a national holiday, right?

Snoop Dogg – The lion hasn’t lost it. And he still knows his left from his right.

“Ruff Ryders”

Murda Mook – He will be handing out ballots on November 6.

Cassidy – I already use your old CDs for fertilizer.

Eve – Please come back.

DMX – The FCC can’t hold the dog. Grrrr. Bark. Grrr.

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